We continue with this series of three videos, meeting Kathie Murtey, Lorraine Norrgard, Shelly Jurmain, and Yolanda Ronquillo, who circle up to reflect on some of the women and grandmother circles that have touched their lives.
Part Two’s video follows the talking piece around as they offer additional responses to the question “Why is it important for elder women to gather?” A transcript of the video is included below.
If you missed Part One’s video, you can access it here. Stay tuned for Part Three’s video, coming in June 2021.
Shelly Jurmain:
Why is it important for elder women to gather? Or why is it important for women to gather? When you're ready to speak, if you would hold up your talking piece. Anyone can start, and we'll just move in an organic way. Whoever is ready to talk speaks.
Lorraine Norrgard:
Oh. I think that it's so important when you're beyond child-rearing years, I'm going to talk about elder women in particular. I think all women can participate and participate together, but I think there is a place that I've been aware of as I've aged that elder women in our society aren't always treated with great respect. In other cultures, and when I worked in Asia or in the Indigenous communities, elders are treated with a great amount of respect because they have the experience. They have knowledge. They have a perspective and a focus, which is different when you're as a woman, not bearing and taking care of children as much. Though many grandparents do, we don't live as much in extended families. And so, I found it very, very encouraging and positive to meet with other elder women and share our experiences and our knowledge. But more than that, something that really happened to me when I went to my first grandmother's gathering was in my 50s.
Lorraine Norrgard:
I was in my 50s, and one of the grandmothers said, "As our energy diminishes, we really have a newfound power of our focus. It changes from doing to being." When she said that, I was like, "What?" You're either a doer and an action person like I was or you're not really doing anything. Over the years, that difference between doing and being has a key element of why I think it's really valuable to meet as elder women. Because, we do a broader perspective, a longer range view of the past and of the future to consider as we speak and as we share than when we're younger. It's a gift to have that perspective. I think also that there's something about the focus, that when you're not able to use your body as much to move mountains and push boulders, it becomes that you work with your focus and your energy, and your ability to vision, to see what's possible in the future and to hold that for our next generation.
Lorraine Norrgard:
So I think visioning and pumping that muscle of focus in your elder years is a very, very powerful way to create. Another way to create that often isn't utilized unless we're in that situation to encourage that and to bring that forward. I think that's an important role of elder women, and coming together, we encourage each other to speak, to be present, to be open, to go forward, to really express energy in our own unique and particular way and experience. So I really think it's important for all ages, but I think elder women, as a role. As I move into that role even more, I really benefit and value my experience with others. Thank you. I’m going to place my piece.
Kathie Murtey:
I'm Kathie again, and boy, I love the circles of elder women. They're so valuable for younger women since that's what the Arizona Council of Grandmothers was for me. It was so wonderful to hear elder women who spoke with an authenticity I hadn't experienced in my family or in my social life. Even though sometimes, I met with elder women in circle, there's room for what I call real talk. That we can talk about what's happening inside as we walk through our lives. Some of it sometimes is messy, but it can be spoken. It's sad or angry, or any other emotion, but it's real. It's what's real inside me can come out in circle, and I think we all need that. But as Lorraine was saying, with elder women, not as highly regarded in American culture as in many other cultures. It's more important, that it's wonderful to have younger women there too. I'll put my talking piece in the center.
Yolanda Ronquillo:
I think one of the important elements of elder women gathering is, I've been studying a lot about the brain, about our brain, how it works and how we can heal our brains in this process called interpersonal neurobiology. In that, I have read that, as you get older, our brains become more porous in terms of being able to access experiences from the past and bring them to the future, bring them to the now. I think that's true. I am elder one of the elders. I think I am the oldest elder in our full moon group, and I hold space in a way that is honored and is acceptable, and revered actually, by younger women. As I said, our circle is not just grandmothers, but it's women.
Yolanda Ronquillo:
And so, I think that ability to hold a sacred space is available to us as elders. That's one of the things that comes to me when I think about the importance of gathering elders, elder women. But also, I think it's that ability of our brains to be able to access what's gone on before not only in our own lives, but in our ancestors' lives. I mean, I've seen that so clearly in some of the work that's done around, oh, I can't think of the name of it. That's the other thing that happens when you're an elder. You can't think of… (laughs) But the knowing that that ancestral wisdom, ancestral experiences can come through is also another reason. I mean, I know there are women who are born as old souls. But certainly, being an old soul is very helpful that way to allow that stream of knowing to come through.
Shelly Jurmain:
My cat. For me, this is Shelly again, when I first came to the Arizona Council of Grandmothers, it took me back to the 1960s when there are a lot of women's consciousness raising groups happening around the country as feminism and women's rights arose more to the surface and to the consciousness.
Shelly Jurmain:
And so, when I came back to the Arizona, when I went to the Arizona Council of Grandmothers, I realized, "Gosh, I loved sitting with women back then and I love sitting with women now." It is just sharing experiences, sharing stories, hearing the wisdom that has been garnered from our life's experiences. Yoli, I loved when you said, in circle, it's like you put something and you get all these different ... in the center. Then it's like you get these different shades of the crystal from it, and each person has their own side, a few of something that's going on.
Shelly Jurmain:
For me, that's invaluable. Also, as it has been mentioned, it can create a real sacred space where people are touched and dealing with, or sharing things that are very meaningful and deep to them. Rarely do I find that happens, except in very intimate relationships outside.
Shelly Jurmain:
Oh. I just wanted to share one more thing, that part of the intention of the Arizona Council of Grandmothers is to create time and space for elder women to come together to recognize their wisdom and speak their voice. That really has touched me, and has spoken to me deeply. I'll put my piece in the center.
Kathie Murtey:
I'm just going to add to that. In that, when I first went to the Arizona Council of Grandmothers and listened to them speak in their own voice, and each one was so unique and clear that it really set me on a path of looking for my voice that was uniquely mine, from my experiences, rather than culturally acceptable in the communities I operated in. That search for my own voice has been so rewarding. It's just the way I'll say it, so thank you.
Shelly Jurmain:
Yoli, will you ring the bell?
Shelly Jurmain:
(silence)
Kathie Murtey is a retired and life long, teacher, civil servant, social justice activist, peacemaker, mother, grandmother, storyteller and facilitator. She is currently living in Iowa. She returned to the Midwest, the land of her birth, after spending 50 years in Southern California. Kathie is committed to a world where women are equally valued decision makers all around the world in partnership with men.
Lorraine Norrgard lives in Washburn, Wisconsin by Lake Superior, near the "Apostle Islands" (22 islands in Lake Superior). Madeline Island (Moningwanekaaning-minis in Ojibwe language) is the most sacred place to the 19 Bands of Lake Superior Ojibwe (Anishinaabeg) who are the second largest Indigenous Nation in North America. Lorraine’s husband was the Director of Health and Human services for the Tribe and Lorraine was a producer/director of historical documentaries for PBS focusing on Indigenous topics and created a six-part series on the history of the Anishinaabe/Ojibwe people. Previously, Lorraine worked for the United Nations Development Program as a Communication Program Officer for the Asia Region based in Bangkok. Lorraine has organized women’s circles for years and has been a facilitator at the Arizona Council of Grandmothers Gatherings, and the Gulf Shores Grandmothers Gathering. She established the Grandmothers Gathering for Gitchigaaming (Lake Superior) with a group of local women that focused on the vitality of Lake Superior and they created the website www.grandmothersgathering.org. Lorraine presently facilitates the Iona Circle of women internationally via Zoom and two other women’s circles near her home, and has a small retreat cottage on Lake Superior. Lorraine’s education was a B.A. in Art and an M.A. in Communications, and worked for the United Nations and PBS, Duluth, MN. Most recently Lorraine has been an independent producer with her own company until she retired in 2010.
Shelly Jurmain is a retired accountant, living in Tucson Arizona. She came to the Arizona Council of Grandmothers in 2008, and fell in love with women gathering and being in circle. Invited to the First Fire Gathering (US), she helped move the body of work called The Circle Way held by Ann Linnea and Christina Baldwin from founder-held to community-held. An outgrowth of this was her service on the board for The Circle Way from 2015 to 2020.
Active in the Arizona Council of Grandmothers on and off through her final working years, Shelly become more involved on the Council in the last few years. When the pandemic hit, many grandmother in-person circles were moved to a virtual environment, and the Arizona Council began exploring the possibilities of holding a virtual gathering. In September – October 2020, “Grandmother Visions: The Ripple Effect of Love and Appreciation!” was held in a series of four weekly virtual circles and inspired a follow up monthly circle for those who wished to continue. A group of dedicated grandmothers continue to meet and plan for the 2021 Arizona Council Gathering, which will also be held virtually. Theme and timing have yet to be revealed!
Yolanda Ronquillo is a bilingual, bicultural social justice activist, writer and artist who was born to Mexican immigrant parents in Oakland California where she continues to live and thrive. Her two sons, Ramón and Tim, have graced and inspired her life. Yolanda's work, Cultural Paths to Knowledge, is an adult learning practice and framework she developed to forge empowered action communities. Yolanda has focused her passion and skills of bridging differences in culture, language and role status with school systems and with women in circles. And for the past twelve years has offered SoulSpeak retreats for women in California and Costa Rica.
Video Producer: Aurora Meneghello
Aurora Meneghello is a Transformative Coach and works with individuals from all over the world who want to grow their careers and businesses while living a life of fulfillment and purpose. Aurora is also the Founder of Repurpose Your Purpose, a program to help people change careers by using what they already know to do something new. When not coaching individuals, Aurora hosts events, coaches groups, and spends as much time as she can in nature.