Five Tips to Invoke the Transformational Power of Circle
Are you looking to fully embrace the power of Circle work to bring forth personal and interpersonal transformation? I wrote about the profound effect Circle can have on participants, here are five tips to tap into its transformational power.
Slow Down
Often all we need to do in order to be more tuned in and thoughtful in our speaking is simply slowing down. And this is even more true when we connect online.
When Circle hosts take a little longer to check in and explain the agreements, participants are able to leave distractions and wandering thoughts aside. They become more present and attuned. The practice of slowing down and calling attention to Circle creates an optimal environment for accessing deep insights, sharing from the heart and listening to one another.
Spell it out
Not everyone is familiar with Circle work, and different cultures can interpret instructions differently. I still remember my first circle...the facilitators assumed we all already knew how to circle. Unfortunately, I was not familiar with the practice, so when we were invited to share our thoughts on a reading, I did what is common for my culture: I started to debate. Oh my! Everyone was very gracious about it, but I felt really bad for my lack of proper etiquette.
Over-communicate Circle agreements and expectations, especially if you are hosting a Circle with people who have never before experienced this practice or if you don’t know the participants. Even if participants say they have participated in a Circle before, do not assume they know or have the same understanding of the practice that you do.
Remind participants to “speak to the center”
When we speak to the center, we create healthy boundaries. We are responsible for our words and for our listening. If something is shared that hurts or makes another person uncomfortable, speaking to the center lets everyone take a little distance from what was shared and the reaction it elicited, so that emotions and words can be addressed without feeling personally attacked. The practice of speaking to the center strengthens our intention to come together and stand for the wellbeing of the group, while leaving enough space for every participant to be individually engaged.
Pause
Just like breathing, when we take a deep inhale followed by a deep exhale, our system gets back into balance. Pause is the deep inhale/exhale of Circle: our nervous system calms down, thoughts can be collected, feelings are more easily digested, and new insights emerge.
Calling for a pause reminds us to speak to the center. A pause regrounds us and brings us back to Circle. Remember to pause.
Host intentionally
Circle is a place to be held: what do you want to hold? It’s important to calibrate the topic, tone and intention of your Circle carefully. Are you hosting a series of Circle gatherings or a one-off event? Do the participants know each other or are they complete strangers? Do you have the skills and resources to provide support if deeper trauma surfaces? What about handling conflict? Is your invitation a call to remember, imagine and connect with resources, possibilities, and positive, generative emotions, or is your call geared towards working through uncomfortable or painful feelings? Will there be any follow ups? Are you ready and comfortable with holding that space?
The more I participate in and host Circles, the more I discover ways to deepen my practice. Happy circling.
Aurora Meneghello is a transformational coach and facilitator based in Los Angeles. She works with individuals who want to change careers and with organizations and leaders who are looking to create a more welcoming workplace. You can read her blog at RepurposeYourPurpose.com